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Post by Sayuri, Deadly Phoenix on Jul 22, 2010 5:07:32 GMT -5
Sayuri hadn't moved. Haku had retrieved the medical nin to see to Roka, and she had remained beside Roka as he was rushed from his dragon, his partner, into the hospital. There were many medical nin fussing over them all, but Sayuri could still stand - barely, but she still could. She tried waving them off. As they asked Kioku, Shia and of course Haku (who, Sayuri thought, was probably in the best condition) how they were, she would have liked to smile at the fuss that was being made. She couldn't imagine Kioku accepting help from unknown med-nin, let alone Mist villagers.
As it was, Roka was now safely tucked into a standard hospital bed, medical nin checking on him every so often. Sayuri had been speaking to him, but it had only been a small amount of time before she ran out of meaningless words to keep rambling on about.
"Oh Roka," she sighed, leaning forward, with her elbows propped on her legs, her head resting in her hands. Having stopped talking she stayed beside him, quite silently.
((Yeah, I'm no good at starting these kinda threads :/ ))
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Shia Maehara
Newbie
Queen of Hearts[D3v:Tamashiii]
Posts: 181
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Post by Shia Maehara on Jul 23, 2010 7:43:34 GMT -5
Everything was pitch black. Shia could hear fragments of conversations, beeps and clattering. Someone was giving her light slaps on her cheek. "...ke u..." Who? Who was calling? "...Wake up." "Miss, wake up. Can you hear me?" Shia opened a creak of her eyes. She gasped for breath, clutching the sheets, wanting to dodge that attack - when she realized she was in a room with white walls, white curtains and people on white clothes. "Hospital?" She muttered, as someone lifted her up, supporting her head. They did a few minor checks, shone a flashlight into her eyes. Then they put her down again. The poison, the paralyzing, the getting knocked out a few times...Shia was in no condition to be back on her feet soon. She felt sweaty and dirty, and hated hospitals. She hadn't even looked around. Her body ached, everything hurt. "Maybe I'm...too weak after all." She muttered to herself.
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Post by Sayuri, Deadly Phoenix on Jul 24, 2010 3:08:07 GMT -5
The noise made not emitted from either Roka or Sayuri wouldn't have usually bothered her, but she recognised the voice, instantly. Her hands still in a cupping gesture, she raised her head to see a little better. Shia had woke, in the bed next to Roka's. They weren't going to move her, either, Sayuri thought. Tired, exhausted even, completely worn out, she may be, but she was going to have all the ones who needed to be, in here and right here.
"Shia-chan," she muttered softly. She scanned her friend's face, looking for how she felt. Sitting in between Roka and Shia, she turned around so as to face her friend. "How are you feeling?" she asked, quietly but gently.
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Shia Maehara
Newbie
Queen of Hearts[D3v:Tamashiii]
Posts: 181
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Post by Shia Maehara on Jul 24, 2010 7:00:35 GMT -5
Shia jumped a bit, and immediately grimaced in pain. Turning her head, slowly her eyes adjusted to the light streaming in from the window behind the person sitting there. She recognised the silhouette. "Sayuri?" "Um. Quite sh!tty." She grinned, at least her face muscles didn't hurt much. "What about you?" Shia couldn't quite make out Sayuri's face, but behind her, light fell onto Roka's face. Somehow, it didn't surprise her to find him here. The last she had seen of him, he was turning into a demon and Shia had been scared. He looked harmless now, to say the least. It felt weird. "What happened to you and Roka?" She set her pillow straight, pushing herself up against it best she could. The girl held up her blankets, slowly, to look at her injuries. She wished she hadn't. Her entire left leg was bandaged up, and her right knee and upper calf were the only free spots. An arm, a few fingers, bandages on her face...She was in the worst shape she had ever been. There were quite a lot of dried blood stains scattered across her bandages.
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Post by Roka Ningyo on Jul 26, 2010 18:53:59 GMT -5
Rinjin, because he wasn't human, really couldn't get proper medical help from these particular ninjas. Roka was the only human he had allowed to heal him anyway. And his partner would be incapable of healing for some time. Knowing that there was nothing more he could do right now, very reluctantly, the dragon returned to his own realm once he knew Roka was safely inside the hospital.
Roka could only distantly hear a voice or feel an occasional sensation, like a needle or the motion of a medical ninja's hand, as he faded in and out of consciousness. He had no idea where he was, though his instincts claimed he was safe. Then again, it wasn't his own safety he had been worried about for the past several hours, and even if he'd been more conscious, he still wouldn't have cared.
The world of dark and deep grays of occasional sensations and sounds faded for a while into pitch black. The next thing he knew was the voice of a woman. The sound reminded him vaguely of his mother, lulling him to sleep as a child. But this voice was different. Younger and familiar. 'Sayuri.' Relief flooded over his foggy mind. She was alive. He tried, in vain, to focus on what she was saying to him. Rambling, it sounded like, but his mind was not awake enough yet. He heard another voice he did not recognize, followed by one he did. 'Shia?' She was alive, too.
By the time Shia asked that question, his mind had regained enough clarity to make sense of it.
"I nearly killed you." Roka muttered bitterly. His voice was soft, quiet, and a little strained due to the throbbing, burning ache covering his entire body and lack of energy. He wasn't looking at Sayuri or Shia anymore, ashamed by his own words. "That's 'what happened.' I lost control. I forgot who I was. And I nearly destroyed my best friends with my own hands." His bandaged hand clenched slowly and shook lightly. It hurt to move, but he didn't care. He deserved the pain. He deserved worse. Why were they even here? How could Sayuri still want to be near him?
"Sayuri." He turned his head away from the ceiling, but instead of turning to her, he faced the opposite direction, out the window. He just couldn't face them. Didn't have that right anymore. "...Don't ever trust me like that again." Roka closed his eyes, mind flashing back to the fight.
Hazy as it was, he remembered what she had done. She had intentionally attracted his attention, moved in the path of his attack, and instead of defending or countering him...Roka had seen the resolve in her eyes to take the blow. If she had, she probably wouldn't be here right now.
"Don't trust me like that. I wasn't going to stop. I couldn't. And you...you would've..." He faltered, trying not to choke on the thought. What kind of monster was he, anyway, for it to be so easy to murder the ones closest to him? Even with worse demons, creatures his family had looked down on, they didn't kill each other or their allies. But who was safe around him now...? No one. Not his friends, his lover, his family.
He found his voice again, though it had grown colder. "Don't do that again. If I...if that ever happens again...come at me to kill me. I'd rather die knowing the people I love are safe, than live a monster."
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Post by Sayuri, Deadly Phoenix on Jul 28, 2010 16:39:19 GMT -5
Opening her mouth to answer, a voice that was not her own did it for her. Sayuri turned so fast it was amazing she had kept balance, and her neck intact, though she had clung to the sides of the chair she was on. Her eyes were slightly wider, and her mouth hung open as if she was still about to answer. Before rushing, verbally, though, she looked down at herself and blinked, realising it probably would have been best for her to get a little cleaner at the very least.
"Roka." She was sure she could have screamed ecstatically at first - both of her friends were safe, well. But she managed his name, and a delighted beam. "I'm so glad you're ok, Roka." Her ears longed his name to be spoke. Because this was Roka. He was Roka. Always Roka. Not... Well, she didn't have to think about that anymore. Roka was okay and so was Shia. Sayuri didn't have immediate concern, though she could've done with rest for a couple of days.
Realising how he had answered the question, she frowned, and bit her lip to stop it from forming a full-blown scowl. She turned so she sat with equal distance between her friends and so it was easier to look at them both. "He's lying Shia, he didn't nearly kill me. It wasn't him." Sayuri spoke quite defiantly, and almost a little stiffly. It wasn't him, she knew it wasn't. And look at him now. He had risked himself against the... thing, to save them. That was Roka. The thing had tried to kill her - Roka had saved them.
Sayuri could picture it, though, in full clarity. To anyone else it would have seemed that Roka was indeed trying to kill her, and Sayuri a fool for not fighting back with the same intent. It disturbed and unnerved Sayuri to picture it like that. But Roka would never have done it. She had repeated it all the while, and now it was like a stuck record inside her head.
"Roka." she addressed him, her eyes boring into his, though they were averted from her own gaze. "People you love... they love you, too." she said softly, and a little slower than usual, as she was in thought, too. "But what is love without trust? I will always trust you. And I would never, and I mean never, Roka, come at you to kill you. Never." Sayuri knew it wasn't enough. She was exhausted, but she had remained here for her friends, for the people she loved. But it slowed thinking her words over.
She, of course, couldn't imagine exactly what he was thinking, but she thought he needed comfort, which was hard for her to do. Instead, she reached over, and ever so gently, went to put her hand against his face to turn it to hers, so he would look at her.
"Do you understand, Roka?"
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Post by Roka Ningyo on Jul 29, 2010 19:41:44 GMT -5
Roka could hear the tremor of relief and excitement in her voice and boy, it just killed him. It was like his heart leapt up and hit a wall. She was excited to see he was okay. There was no fear in her voice. No accusation. She cared. He was accepted. And it killed him...how could she dismiss it, just like that? "Sayuri..."
He couldn't look at her. He could feel her gaze burning into skin and he didn't want to see the forgiveness in her eyes, the friendly reprimand, the concern, the love. He wanted felt like yelling 'don't look at me like that! I don't deserve it!' At the same time, he wanted to cling to the conviction in her words like a last life-line, keeping his head above the suddenly unfriendly waters, saving him from drowning inside himself.
"It was still my body, dammit!" He snapped. He was angry. Very. But of course, none of his anger was directed at Sayuri for defending him, he was angry at himself. He wanted to be worthy of that, of her defending him, but he didn't feel that way. "My body. My hands. I'm...I'm still responsible. If Rin hadn't stopped that blow, you'd be gone, and it would be all my fault."
He could feel tears burning at the back of his eyes. Hot, angry, frustrated and was that fear again? Yes, that chilling sensation that did nothing to ease the burn of his guilt. Fear that this wasn't over. He hated that feeling. "You guys helped me remember. I was able to stop it, but next time..." He couldn't finish the thought aloud.
After accessing her other, thoughtful statement, he found it was true and she was right. He couldn't deny, love, trust, friendship, they belonged together. "Then just don't." Roka knew perfectly that it was a stupid request. A childish thing to say. He wouldn't ever agree to that request himself, so he knew it wasn't fair. "Don't love me anymore. If I could end up killing you because you care about me, then I wish you hated me. All of you. If I can't stop this, I don't deserve for anyone to care..."
Roka flinched when she touched his cheek, as if she had touched his heart instead. The hanyou easily saw her gesture for what it was. An act of comfort. Of Kindness. A few of the tears he was holding back managed to escape, much to his displeasure. He didn't feel like he had the right to show more weakness than he already had, nearly losing everything to his inner demon.
When Sayuri got him to turn his head so their eyes could meet, Roka couldn't help looking at her then. But rather than meet her gaze, his eyes scanned her wounds and the signs of exhaustion on her face, afraid she'd see the feelings raging inside him just by looking in his eyes.
"Yes. I understand that you don't get it. I'm grateful to you, but it would be better if you didn't feel that way. It'd be easier for both of us. I don't deserve your trust anymore. And until I do, I'm only a danger to everyone. Weren't you watching? Back there, I was a monster."
Roka finally looked up into her eyes, knowing the pain in his own was too visible. Why did she have to make this harder than it already was? Couldn't he just make her see? Couldn't she just freak out after seeing him like that, call him a 'demon,' and run to safety like strangers always did?
He had to make her understand. "Aren't you listening, Sayuri? It's not just that I was, I still am!" He closed his eyes and realized distantly that he was shaking now, trembling from exhaustion, and not just in body. "I can feel him, you know. Even now, I can sense that thing, in the back of my head. He's asleep. But when I recover and he wakes up, when he tries to take over again, what then?"
The hanyou sighed, shaking his head adamantly. "What do you want me to do? Even if you trust me...I don't. I can't! I can't risk your life like that. And what about Haku? What about Ryuu? What would they do if something happened to you, huh?"
There was probably no way to convince her, though. And this was just the beginning. Roka didn't even know how to begin to talk to Fearia, Charon, his sensei, or his father. ...None of them would listen either, would they? No. They all cared too much. He had to get away from here. From them. There had to be some way that he could still protect them. He had to find some way to cure this. But for now, he was confined to this bed.
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Shia Maehara
Newbie
Queen of Hearts[D3v:Tamashiii]
Posts: 181
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Post by Shia Maehara on Aug 1, 2010 5:48:07 GMT -5
"Roka." Shia had been listening, quietly, taking in their conversations as she slowly started to understand their conversation. She wasn't much for expressing her feelings through hugs and other gestures, so she resorted to words, even though she wasn't all that well with those, either. She now turned her eyes to Roka, without turning her head fully. Not only because this hurt, but also because she felt a little awkward, and knew she shouldn't even be commenting.
"I should have been the one to protect Sayu-chan. This is also my fault. PLease don't take the blame all to yourself. And Sayuri..." Shia turned her eyes to her friend now. She wasn't quite glaring at her, but her expression wasn't without anger. "You should think about those around you, too. Ryuu, for example. I'm not saying you should ditch Roka, on the contrary, but I'm warning you. As you see, I failed to protect you, while you had a family waiting for you. If anyone should have jumped in front of any attack, it should have been me. And Roka...I'm not just talking about Sayuri here. I should've done a better job protecting you aswell. Because I consider you my friend."
She crossed her arms, clumsily hugging herself, pointing her gaze back at her sheet-covered legs. She remembered seeing Roka shift into his demon form, and she had seen those same eyes he was making now - it filled her with a feeling of pity, or rather empathy. Shia had made her mind up. She was going to help Roka and support him. It was a strange and impulsive decision, but Syauri seemed to have the same intentions, and the confession of her friendship for Roka hadn't been a lie, either.
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